Muddling Along

Normal

2007-10-13T04:55:00.000-07:00

The ultrasound went ok.

Besides the tech not being able to find my left ovary well.

And so apparently, I'm ok.

Besides my uterus being tilted, that is.

But that's ok.

So now fingers crossed that when we start trying, everything will be ok.

Growing Up: Dressing

2007-10-06T07:52:00.001-07:00

Future Husband never misses an opportunity to point out that my style is somewhat lacking in professionalism.

I do work in an office. I'm a buyer and the dress code is pretty much:

Don't wear t-shirts.
Don't wear flip-flops.

I'm consistently surprised when someone comes in with shiny shoes or a button up shirt and they're even more surprised when I dress in something other than Birks and a hoodie.

In particular, I have a weakness for bags. Purses. Messenger bags. Hobo bags. I love them all. And I can't stop.

But when we went to a friend's going away party - filled with engineers and like professionals - although I looked good in a sleek black top and cutsy flats, I was stuck with a purse that did.not.match.

It's a tan corduroy hobo bag with a small fabric flower on the bottom corner.

Not exactly fit for a night out.

So I went on the hunt for something more professional.

And the bags
!Oh! The bags!
So many bags! So little time!
(so little money)

We hunted around Target and a few other places.

I had an idea on what I wanted, but was having a hard time finding The One.

This one was too tall.

Too short.
Too small.
Too fat.

I ended up with something like this:

And so now I'm on the hunt for a wallet. Because the simple tri-fold made of brown corduroy just doesn't work.

Any ideas?

Fertility and Life.

2007-10-02T04:00:00.001-07:00

I was diagnosed with PCOS when I was 16. When they were testing for everything under the sun after I was diagnosed with cancer, they found a lot of other things...

I didn't, at 16, think that it was a big deal at all. It was just one more thing wrong with me.

But now that I'm 25, getting married and starting to think about starting a family, fertility is one of the things keeping me up at night.

I went to the doctor yesterday for my annual exam - the exam I've neglected for a couple years. And was told that my left ovary was larger than the right. It may not be a problem, but it's problem enough to need an ultrasound.

Most of my life was spent pursuing some sort of academic satisfaction - but the kicker was that there was no satisfaction for me there. I was good at it without trying. I got perfect grades without much effort and was given awards throughout highschool and college. And I couldn't figure out why it wasn't enough.

But now I understand that the only thing I want to do is be a mother. I want to marry my childhood sweetheart and have children. I want to be a mother and wife.

And the thought that we may not have children leaves me reduced to a sobbing idiot. And there's nothing I can do; not until we have the ultrasound results. There there will be meds and diets and exercise... because that's all I can do.

And when we start trying to have children... Only then will we know if I can get pregnant... and we hadn't planned on trying for at least 3-5 years. And I'm not looking forward to not knowing.